"Are You Living Authentically or Just Going Through the Motions?"
- Angie Marie
- Jan 28
- 2 min read
"Who are you and what do you want to do now?" My therapist asked me this question as my 20-year marriage was ending, and it was like a bolt of lightning to my soul. It forced me to realize two painful truths:
I never really knew who I was.
Everything I had been doing was never truly for me.
It took years to unravel this epiphany, but I came to a life-altering conclusion: I had been living inauthentically. I had abandoned my character, my integrity, and my true self in a desperate pursuit of acceptance and love.
Why Do We Abandon Ourselves?
It starts young—so young that we don’t even realize it’s happening. As babies, we sense emotions like happiness and grief. We adjust to these emotions or avoid them altogether, often at the expense of our own feelings. Over time, we prioritize other people’s perceptions of us over our own truth.
Suddenly, our self-worth is measured by external validation:
A parent’s approval.
A friend’s praise.
A romantic partner’s love.
It becomes easy to lose sight of who we are, chipping away at our authenticity piece by piece. For some, this disconnect persists their entire lives. For me, it took 40 years to wake up.
When I looked back, I saw the moments I compromised my character and integrity for the sake of acceptance. I realized my childhood was more chaotic than I had acknowledged, and my marriage—a two-decade-long chapter of my life—was built on a foundation that didn’t reflect my truth.
I had been living someone else’s story, and now I had to learn how to write my own.
Does This Sound Familiar?
Take a moment to reflect on your own journey. Be honest with yourself:
Have you ever put your dreams on hold for someone else?
Chosen silence in fear of rejection or conflict?
Missed opportunities because you prioritized someone else’s needs over your own?
It’s tempting to justify these sacrifices. After all, isn’t gratitude about accepting where you are? Doesn’t regret mean wasted time?
But here’s the truth: regret isn’t about wasted time. It’s about waking up and realizing you want more for yourself.
Call to Reflection: Journal Your Truth
Take out your journal and write down these questions:
Who am I today?
What do I truly want to do now?
Have I abandoned parts of myself to gain acceptance or love?
If I could start fresh, what would I change?
Write honestly and without judgment. This is your space to reconnect with your authenticity.
It’s Never Too Late
Here’s the most empowering truth: it’s never too late to reauthenticate. I’m living proof that no matter your age, your past, or how deep you’ve buried your true self, you can rediscover it.
Yes, it’s scary to start over. But think of the possibilities:
Living a life aligned with your values.
Pursuing dreams that light up your soul.
Building relationships rooted in honesty and mutual respect.
You deserve that life. We all do.
So, who are you, and what do you want to do now? Don’t let the question intimidate you—let it inspire you. You have the power to rewrite your story, one authentic step at a time.
